


and drowning is no sin

by trell (qunlat)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Other, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5237606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qunlat/pseuds/trell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are in the gold room, and Trafalgar Law finally gets what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and drowning is no sin

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place 3 years after Dressrosa and assumes the events of [careful fear and dead devotion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2432627), wherein Law has kissed Luffy twice (once on Dressrosa and once shortly after), both times without the kiss being returned. They have been sailing separately since and meeting rarely, but have remained in contact.
> 
> (Originally an alternate ending to [eyes in the moon of darkness](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5233862), but reads as a standalone.)

“Torao,” whines Luffy, his voice hardly any less loud for the door that's between them. "Aren’t you done yet?”

He's waiting in the room while Law changes in the walk-in closet, gets into the black tie suit tonight's event requires. Through the door, Law tells him, “Very nearly,” and frowns at his reflection, tugs one last time at his collar. 

Then he swallows and pulls the door into the spacious inn room open.

Stepping into the brighter light and out of his darker thoughts makes him feel suddenly foolish; when Strawhat’s eyes go round at his appearance Law’s certain he’s going to laugh. It’s true, after all, that he hasn’t done this in a very long time. 

Strawhat doesn’t laugh. “Wow,” he says.

Law stares at him. “What does that mean?”

“Um,” says Strawhat, and blinks intently, and gets up from his crouch on the bed rather slower than Law’s used to seeing him jump. There’s a beat, and then Strawhat walks over to him, takes him by the lapels, and pulls him—not harshly—into a kiss.

It is, decidedly, a moment of discovery: one, it is far more difficult than Law had expected, from previous experience in kissing Luffy, to kiss him when they’re both standing up (in which case Luffy barely comes up to his collarbone); two, being kissed by Luffy is one of the few things that’s ever successfully chased every single coherent thought out of his mind; and three, it is a very, _very_ different experience to be on the receiving end of this particular surprise.

He finds he enjoys it a great deal more.

After the those first few fumbling seconds where he’s too stunned to respond—the bridge of his nose bumps awkwardly against Luffy’s, and he has to figure out how to bend to make this less of a strain on his spine, has to brace himself by planting his hands on Luffy’s shoulders—it is, without a doubt, the most pleasant thing he’s experienced in a very long time. 

When Luffy finally pulls back Law feels lightheaded, and it doesn’t make a difference that his doctor’s reflex knows it to be psychosomatic. “What was that,” he says. “What was that for.”

“You look good,” Luffy says honestly, unrepentantly, even if the wideness of his eyes betrays that he is perhaps also—just a little—surprised.

“Oh,” says Law, the syllable rather squeezed.

“Can I do it again?”

The laughter comes bubbling out of him before he can stop it. Luffy stares at him in shock; Law claps his hands over his mouth, and tries, entirely hopelessly, to keep it down. (It doesn’t work in the least; he only ends up sounding exactly like someone trying to choke down deeply undignified peals of laughter.)

“Torao!” says Luffy loudly, looking almost—flustered, and Law didn’t think he could _do_ that, isn’t sure that he’s not imagining it now. 

In response he swallows hard and bites down on his knuckles, presses his other hand over his eyes because trying to stop is bringing on tears. After a solid half-minute he manages, “Yes,” thoracic diaphragm aching with how close he is to dissolving right back into laughter, “God, of course, Luffy, _yes_.”

Luffy smiles, then, big and happy, grabs him by both hands and pulls him over to the bed (the height difference isn’t such a problem when sitting down, after all). Law ends up staggering and half-falling backwards onto it when Luffy turns them around, scoots back until he can lean against the wall with the pillows shoved over behind him.

There’s a pause—that drawn-out moment that comes before less unexpected kisses, a moment where Luffy sits in front of him and leans in. His eyelashes brush Law’s cheek, and Law’s eyes slide helplessly closed, and they’re so close that Law can feel the heat of Luffy’s mouth on his parted lips for moments before they touch—

And then Luffy kisses him again, and Law feels boneless and happy and stupid; and unexpectedly, unbelievably, inexplicably _loved_.

Swimming in this intoxication, suspended, he at last remembers himself: brings his hands up and takes Luffy’s face in them, fingers sliding into Luffy’s coarse hair, palms pressed against cheekbones.

(He has dreamed, vividly, about doing this. Tried to forget it with all his might when he woke, startling into empty darkness, alone in his quarters with Luffy thousands of miles away and unknowing; worse, undeserving of being the subject of his pathetic needy desire. Law knows full well that he’s always wanted too much from those that he’s cared for, always taken more than he could give back, always needed them like they didn’t need him. So he’d pushed it down and refused to indulge it, curled in on himself with humiliation when something Luffy said over transponder made some half-confession escape him—)

Only it turns out that he was wrong, at least a little; wrong at least in this smaller part of the whole. Wrong that Luffy didn’t want something from him in return, didn’t want to touch or be touched, didn’t want _him_.

The relief that floods him at knowing is overwhelming, and when Luffy keeps kissing him; when Luffy noses cautiously under his ear and presses a kiss there, too, draws from him a shuddering gasp and eyes flickering open; Law wonders what he could have possibly done to be deserving.

It isn’t until Luffy’s hands slide under his jacket that he regains any sense of reality. It’s a monumental effort to form words, just then, but somehow he does it, says: “Luffy, Luffy, wait.”

Luffy withdraws his hands instantly. Law wants to kiss him again just for that, but hurries to say, “It’s not—not like that, this time, don’t worry.”

“Oh,” says Luffy. “Good.” And waits for Law to say more, sitting back on his knees.

Law takes a breath. “It isn’t like that, but it would be. If we did more. I don’t,” and he squeezes his eyes shut because he’s ashamed, can’t meet Luffy’s gaze, “I don’t want to be touched. More than we've done before. Not because of . . . not because of anything anyone’s done, it’s not like the other time, it’s just like this, I can’t, and I’m sorry, I—”

Luffy interrupts him. “Okay.”

It takes Law several seconds to process this. Finally he formulates, “But what about _you?_ ”

“I want to feel good,” Luffy says, unperturbed. “This feels good, and if more wouldn’t feel good for you then it wouldn’t feel good for me. Why would I want to do that?”

“But if you need something more, that’s not fair. That’s not even,“ Law insists.

“No,” Luffy says firmly. “You don’t get it, Torao, I’m doing this ‘cause I want to do it with _you_.”

And Law doesn’t know, really, why the things that come out of Luffy’s mouth and the things Luffy does keep cutting him off at the knees. Because this is why, after all, why Law wants to be with him, why he keeps running after him, why he _loves him_ ; because this is exactly what Luffy is like. 

Luffy makes everything easy. Luffy gives out his love like he’s an infinite fount of it, like it can’t be stretched thin. Luffy is forgiveness, and strength, and insight; and so Law should know better than to expect anything else. Does know better, only he never seems to remember when it comes to himself.

(And he thinks, sometimes, when Luffy looks at him like he can see all the way through him; when even despite that he doesn’t hate what he sees; when Luffy does _that_ —)

It faces Law with a dilemma. Because if he trusts Luffy’s judgement then he must trust it in this, follow the logic and so believe: despite himself, despite evidence, despite everything: that there’s something inside him worth loving.

Sitting there on the bed, Luffy still waiting before him despite innate impatience, Law finds himself saying the only thing that remains entirely clear in his mind. “I’d really like to kiss you again.”

Luffy’s answering grin is _huge_. “I’d like that, too.”

**Author's Note:**

>  _We were in the gold room where everyone_  
>  _finally gets what they want, so I said What do you_  
>  _want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me._  
>  from Richard Siken's "Snow and Dirty Rain"


End file.
